Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
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I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I did not marry a roomba.
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