I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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