mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize