Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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