you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
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I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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