i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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