I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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