You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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