so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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