I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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