Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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