Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize