In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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