I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
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he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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