what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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