My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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