I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize