the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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