Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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