the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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