but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize