Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize