I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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