Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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