please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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