apparently the secret to your success is patron
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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