hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize