So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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