i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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