wakey wakey hands off snakey
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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