i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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