Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize