I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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