i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
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Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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