I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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