I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
babies were throwing up all over the place
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize