Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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