i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize