Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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