Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize