Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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