Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize