I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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