Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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