Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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