Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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