I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
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Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize