Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize