Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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