I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
FUCK WHALES
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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